[Coming to a cranium near you! This is too funny. Also too real. Forwarded by our good friend, Len Eskey, he writes (although “I” isn’t Len, it’s anyone for whom the shoe fits…:O). Ed.]
Recently, I was diagnosed with AAADD—Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder. This is how it manifests itself:
I decide to water my garden. As I turn on the hose in the driveway, I look over at my car and decide it needs washing. As I start toward the garage, I notice mail on the porch table that I brought up from the mail box earlier. I decide to go through the mail before I wash the car.
I lay my car keys on the table, put the junk mail in the garbage can under the table, and notice that the can is full. So I decide to put the bills back on the table and take out the garbage first.
But then I think, since I’m going to be near the mailbox when I take out the garbage anyway, I may as well pay the bills first.
I take my check book off the table and see that there is only one check left. My extra checks are in my desk in the study, so I go inside the house to my desk where I find the can of Coke I’d been drinking.
I’m going to look for my checks, but first I need to push the Coke aside so that I don’t accidentally knock it over. As I pick it up, I notice that it’s getting warm, so I decide to put it in the refrigerator.
As I head toward the kitchen, a vase of flowers on the counter catches my eye–they need water. I put the Coke on the counter and discover my reading glasses that I’ve been searching for all morning. I decide I better put them back on my desk.
But first I’m going to water the flowers.
I set the glasses back down on the counter, fill a container with water and suddenly spot the TV remote. Someone left it on the kitchen table. I realize that tonight when we go to watch TV I’ll be looking for the remote, but I won’t remember that it’s on the kitchen table. So I decide to put it back in the den where it belongs.
But first I’ll water the flowers.
I pour some water in the flowers, but quite a bit of it spills on the floor.
So, I set the remote back on the table, get some towels, and wipe up the spill. Then I head down the hall trying to remember what I was planning to do.
At the end of the day, the car isn’t washed. The bills aren’t paid. There is a warm can of Coke sitting on the counter. The flowers don’t have enough water. There is still only one check in my check book. I can’t find the remote. I can’t find my glasses. And I don’t remember what I did with the car keys.
Then, when I try to figure out why nothing got done today, I’m really baffled because I know I was busy all damn day and I’m really tired!
I realize this is a serious problem and I’ll try to get some help for it. But first I’ll check my e-mail…
Do me a favor. Forward this message to everyone you know because I don’t remember who the hell I’ve sent it to…!
Don’t laugh—if this isn’t you yet, your day is coming!!